Thursday, September 09, 2004
look what i've got off a fanfic site!
"
when the music switched over to a slow song, everyone paired up. my best pal with a handsome dude, and that wilful girl with a muscular bloke..
as the guys hugged the girls close to their chests, the dance floor became more spacious. soon, i was pushed to the side, almost out and unto the barcounter. i walked back in, feeling a little embarrassed, but my heart still hoping to be able to find a guy to dance with. "there's always hope!" it came deep down from inside. the measly cup of alcohol have yet to get to my head, and i was already losing control of my emotions. my legs wouldn't turn back, they just kept on walking straight.
then, i didn't have to feel embarrassed anymore. many of the girls had their eyes closed, while the others couldn't be bothered about me. i realized that i was in the middle. in the middle of beautiful couples, alone. even if i died there, someone would only notice me if they stepped on me. "it's okay. the party just started, damn it!" i consoled myself. but i knew i was defeated. the hours i put into dressing up for tonight went straight into the sewers. or maybe i just didn't put in enough effort?
whatever. feeling so angry, upset and unappreciated, i gulped down shots of potent, pure vodka.
'hey roxanne, how'd ya doing babe? looking pretty tonight!' i turned towards the voice. he looks.. familar. "hi er..mark? i'm feeling fab. here, drink some" 'excuse me? roxanne. you are drunk' i insisted no, but mark didn't take my no for a answer. i wasn't drunk! i could think perfectly well, i can still walk, and i knew that he is mark... *hic*and I could see that he was exceptionally handsome tonight… I wouldn’t mind waking up in the morning, seeing such a well sculptured face….
mark tried to make me sit in the chilling out area so i could sober up before the party ends, and go home safely. while he was trying to, the music once again changed moods. this time, it was techno. my ears immediately picked up the beat. i stood up, eyes half open. with a vague smile, i pulled mark to the dancefloor. "dance with meee...."
now, the pounding music confused me. together with the alcohol, they took control of my thinking, movement, everything..
somehow, i was so engrossed in dancing, when i looked around again, i saw eyes on me. not a pair or a few, it was everyone in sight. initially a little shocked, i shrugged it off. i gyrated and danced like those girls you see in bars. who cares, anyway, i though. after all, 4 hours of beautifying myself will only live this few minutes of concentrated attention. which I personally find is not enough
and I do deserve more, i certainly do..
have those people finally seen me for the first time or what? why are they staring? where is mark.. he was supposed to dance with me.. why…..
I was totally drunk, and I collapsed soon after. this time, those dudes I wanted to dance with came over to help me up. how great was that! I’m in the limelight.. I’m in the center of attraction
i could feel my stomach muscles tense up. i tried rushing to the restroom, and I did manage to. after puking and a splash of water on my face, i freshened up, feeling much better already. i noticed that my stomach was rather empty..
mark, surprisingly was waiting for me at the corridor. then i remembered. he was no mark, he was nick! i apologized for my sillyness, and somehow, like he could read my mind, he asked if i would want supper with him. we opted for a quick one outside the party, then going back for the later stages of the party. i wanted to see who was going to be crowned prom queen and prince.
the nearest wasn’t very near, and we both reluctantly settled for subway. we ordered a sandwich and both shared it. the air was cool and the dim lighting completed the ambience. little words were spoken, and i felt really loved and treasured..
he stopped eating halfway. i stopped and looked up. our eyes met, and my gosh, it was the first time i realized how beautiful his eyes were. ‘roxanne, you are absolutely stunning tonight. you’re so pretty, words do you no justice’ i raised both brows and flashed a cheeky smile, “i know”. he smiled. ‘oh Roxanne…’
seeing that i don’t mind, nick put his arm around my waist, and pulled me closer…
"
if only......
6:22 PM
